Do you have a question about how Christianity can be applied in your daily life? Read some questions and answers from RLC's column in the Pembroke Observer and feel free to ask your own questions! This Blog will give you a sample of some past columns.
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Wiser, but Not Smarter
July 19, 2015
Dear Sam, I had an “aha” moment when I became aware that my cousin, whom I had thought weak and unable, was actually strong-arming me with her pretended “sensitivity”. I was always careful around her, not realizing how expert she was at manipulating me into agreeing with her, doing things for her, excusing her behaviour and joining her in criticizing anyone who expected more from her. But now that I have caught her “in the act” I'm not sure how to proceed. I don't want to stop being with her, but I want to extricate myself from this unhealthy way of interacting. What should I do?
Wiser but not smarter
Dear Wiser, first thank the Holy Spirit for the insight you have gained. This sin of touchiness is very subtle and dangerous to its recipient. Anyone who wants to be a nice, kind and caring person will easily fall prey to this web of deceit. Your cousin, probably self-deceived, has taught you to handle her with kid gloves, or else. Or else she will accuse you of unkindness, of being mean and unfair, and even possibly ruin your reputation with her delight in telling her stories of being so ill treated. She will then be so hurt by you that she cannot function and it will all be your fault. The fault is that of not spoiling, pampering and attending to her in a way that gives tacit approval to her every thought, word and deed. She might believe that her sensitivity is not only her inborn disposition, but even a gift of discernment. But it is a sin because it centres first and foremost on the importance of her feelings and the satisfying of her ego. That is why she is always so easily hurt, even going out of her way to interpret situations as a slight against her. As far as relationships go, she must find those who are sensitive to injustices to others. She then becomes the object of their desire to save. Do you see how her apparent weakness: needing to be saved, is actually the web in which she captures her victims, one of whom was you. Going along with her demand to be pampered is not loving to her or to you, but to change this between you will have dire consequences for both of you. Think about whether you are willing to suffer the truly loving course, and next week we'll consider some possibilities for new interactions. Pray for the love of God and for His Courage.
INSIDE THE ISSUE is authored thru Resurrection Lutheran Church, 250 Quarry Rd, Pembroke. Sunday Worship at 10:30am.
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