Dear Transformed,
How insightful of you to have realized the dynamic in this relationship. It could be that what you are describing is called "defilement". That word means: contamination, violation, to soil and stain, to infect. In other words, something is going on here to cause you to become the bad person you are not accustomed to being. We seldom give enough credit to the fact that our spirits cry out to be satisfied in what we believe to be true. If your friend believes that everyone is unkind to him and that people are nasty, then he will unconsciously try to force that to happen. The biblical way of saying this is "let it be done unto you as you believe". Well, someone has to do it, and your friend has enlisted you to be the prover of his belief system. Now that you understand that what is going on has more to do with his spiritual and psychological demands than it has to do with your being a bad person, you don't need to be weakened by confusion. Forgive him for "dirtying" you, and envision this relationship as a big clean-up exercise. When you start to respond to his demand, do the exact opposite and say something kind or lighthearted. The important thing will be for you to determine whether you can successfully stand against his force. You may not be able to, but this does not make you a bad person. What will be bad is if you continue to participate in this wickedness. He needs healing and a new belief about the positives available in relationship. Offer that new perspective and see if he wants it. If not, move on to healthier relationships.
INSIDE THE ISSUE is authored thru Resurrection Lutheran Church, 250 Quarry Rd. Pembroke. Sunday Worship at 10:30am.