What??- March 12, 2011
June 5, 2011
Dear Sam,
My wife died after a lengthy illness, and now I'm friends with a woman who has asked me some surprising questions. She wanted to know what mistakes I made with my family, and what I have learned in life. Honestly, I never made mistakes with my family. I was always responsible and involved. As far as what I've learned, it's just the usual growing up stuff, but she makes it sound like I should have had all kinds of lightening-bolt moments of insight. I like this woman, but I almost feel like she thinks I was a real bum. What's with her?
What??
Dear confused,
The people we call friends are often a mixed variety. Some are just for fun, others are for sharing, some for intimacy. Her questions sound like she expects more than just fun out of the relationship. Now if she is just examining you with no revelations of her own, then you might be cautious. But if she is telling you her own mistakes and what she's learned, then this is an honest attempt to get to know you. Maybe you find this kind of talk odd because if you never made any mistakes, you have never had to learn lessons the hard way. Maybe this is an opportunity to discover how other people come at life, the issues they face, and the way they process their experiences. Allow her to walk you into a whole new world of self-examination. It could be interesting and quite a change for you. There are all kinds of rooms in the house of life, and opening up a door can expand your awareness. Give it a try.
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