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Do you have a question about how Christianity can be applied in your daily life?  Read some questions and answers from RLC's column in the Pembroke Observer and feel free to ask your own questions!  This Blog will give you a sample of some past columns.



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Becoming a Hermit- October 30, 2010
January 16, 2011

Dear Sam,

  Whenever I am in a new social situation I just freeze up. I don’t know what to say or do. I’ve turned down invitations because of this and I’m sick of being so inept. What can I do to improve this area of my life?
   -Becoming a Hermit-


Dear Becoming,

  Let’s change your direction and turn you into the world’s best host. And that’s just how you need to begin to see yourself - not as a guest for whom things are done, but as the host who is responsible for the comfort of those in your sphere. Just having a new image of yourself can help immensely. Having a job to do will give you direction. The trouble is that we often feel and behave in a passive-receptive way. “I am here, and I expect someone else to do the work of entertaining me“. What if you took the initiative?
   You say, “But I’m too shy, too uncertain. I could never do that.” Since you say that, you will believe it and live it out. Who will say new, different things in your mind? No one but you. As long as you are dependent on others to take care of you, to carry you through difficulties, you remain childish. Maturity demands that you become the grown-up, the capable one, the one who shows concern for others.
   The first thing you have to change is your mind, then your behaviour will follow through.
   Do some work to prepare yourself to approach a stranger. Actually look at the person. Imagine that he has a life, interests, a history. You could comment on the colour of his tie, or ask if she is new in town. The important thing is that you not create a script with tick-off questions, but that you really look at others.
   So far, you have only noticed yourself and all of your social weaknesses. Expand your network and start allowing others a place in your world. Let yourself be interested in them. Let them feel your pleasure at being there with them. Set yourself to find out just one thing about them. Be careful that in your nervousness you do not talk too much. Be the asker about them. Let them feel important and valuable.
   Now you know what to say and what to do. In a practical sense, it would help to have someone to hold you accountable to this new and scary behaviour. It’s far too easy to wimp out. Enlist a friend to hold you to the commitment to become a host to the people who show up in your life. Go to it, you can’t fail.


INSIDE THE ISSUE is authored thru Resurrection Lutheran Church, 250 Quarry Rd, Pembroke. Sunday Worship at 10:30am  http://sites.advancedministry.com/ResurrectionLutheranChurch

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