Inside the Issue - Dear Sam
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Do you have a question about how Christianity can be applied in your daily life?  Read some questions and answers from RLC's column in the Pembroke Observer and feel free to ask your own questions!  This Blog will give you a sample of some past columns.



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Just Plain Mad- May 15th, 2010
September 2, 2010

Dear Sam,
  My husband is improving and I’m so mad. He was a real jerk and after being seriously sick he has calmed down, doesn’t yell, and tries to be decent to me. Everyone thinks he’s just great now, but I know what he put me through. He never apologized, just started being different, and it’s like a slap in the face. I feel guilty but also justified. Now I’m suffering again.

Just Plain Mad

Dear Just,
  Whew! Are you ever mad! So mad that you didn’t even notice that you didn’t ask a question in a questions column. Clearly you need to let off steam, but for how long has this been going on? I’m almost reluctant to say anything reasonable in case you would kick me in the shins.
   Could I guess that you have been angry at many things and your husband’s behaviour gave you valid excuse to express that anger? So you have to face up to what you are really mad at now. Try this on for size - you saw yourself as the good one in this relationship because he was clearly the bad one. What identity do you have now that he is no longer the bad one? Is there room in your marriage for two good ones, or do you have to become the bad one now that he is good? Sounds pretty hard to figure out, and this may be one reason to be angry, especially since you seem to be the only one trying to untangle the confusion.
   What if you (calmly, if that’s possible) told your husband just what you have told me? If he really is better now, he will hear you and help you to make the transition. This might be a crossroads in your marriage that will allow both of you to grow beyond the past to forge a future you never imagined.
You can see why Jesus always advised forgiveness, because without it, life is impossible. Consider that both of you are now equal in need for forgiveness - your husband for the past, you for this present inability to be grateful to God and gracious to your husband.
   I Peter 4:12 says “Beloved, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal which comes upon you to prove you...but rejoice in so far as you share Christ’s sufferings.” Lucky you that your fiery ordeal involves an improved husband, and that the test of faith you have been assigned is to accept from God a good gift. This may be the very issue that you have to sort through - how hard it is to receive something good when you have learned to manage the bad. All of a sudden your skill set is no longer needed - now what?
   I hope this has shed some light on your anger and that you will be willing to start asking the questions that lead to a new positive outlook and a blessing on your marriage.


INSIDE THE ISSUE is authored through Resurrection Lutheran Church, 250 Quarry Rd, Pembroke. Sunday Worship at 10:30am.  Look us up at http://sites.advancedministry.com/ResurrectionLutheranChurch
 

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