Inside the Issue - Dear Sam
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Do you have a question about how Christianity can be applied in your daily life?  Read some questions and answers from RLC's column in the Pembroke Observer and feel free to ask your own questions!  This Blog will give you a sample of some past columns.



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Searching for Answers- May 1st, 2010
May 4, 2010

Dear Sam,

  I have a friend with whom I get along well, except that we have never really been able to express any kind of anger or displeasure. As I learn more about honest relationships, I wonder if I should limit my time with her, since this doesn’t seem to be a healthy way to interact. The trouble is that we really like each other and value our time together. Now I don’t know if I’m just pretending, or whether it is ok to have this kind of superficial relationship. I really want to learn and grow, even if that means having to give up things that are not right. Any thoughts?


Searching for Answers


Dear Searcher,

  What a delight to hear someone struggling with issues rather than ignoring them. That’s what growing is all about. I guess it depends on what you want to grow into. It would be a shame if you became such a “correct-oholic” that everyone in your path would be in danger of not being right and good enough.
   This gives balance to your very excellent desire to improve who and how you are. And balance is very important if you really want to live in a way that reflects and pleases God.
   Relationships, healthy ones, are not all rubber-stamped the same. You eat a healthy diet, but it would be both boring and unnecessary to insist that you will eat only certain foods, prepared in certain ways, and that everything else is poison. Even if you don’t prefer some dishes, that doesn’t mean that they are harmful to you.
   And that’s what I hear you asking - is it harmful for me to have a social relationship that is not deep and serious and ultimately meaningful. Good for you to be asking this kind of thoughtful question. But keep your thoughts going, and consider the outcome if you became so perfect that almost no one could rise to your excellence. Now I know that sounds ridiculous, but it’s amazing how easily we can get out of balance, and how destructive that ends up being.
   So now to the question of your friendship. Try not to be good out of context, but in the context of being good to and for your friend. In an equal relationship, as opposed to parent-child, teacher-student, there is no need to try to change the other person. You have enjoyed your contact with her, continue to let her know how much you enjoy her. That sounds good, doesn’t it? Our interactions with people are each unique and special and informative. Serve yourself a balanced diet. This may be your dessert - pleasurable, sweet, even if not hugely protein packed. That’s ok, in fact its fine and realistic and honourable to her.
   Keep growing, but make sure you grow into a lovely, loving person who has a large repertoire of God’s love in the world.


INSIDE THE ISSUE is authored thru Resurrection Lutheran Church, 250 Quarry Rd, Pembroke. Sunday Worship at 10:30am. Look us up at http://sites.advancedministry.com/ResurrectionLutheranChurch

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