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Do you have a question about how Christianity can be applied in your daily life?  Read some questions and answers from RLC's column in the Pembroke Observer and feel free to ask your own questions!  This Blog will give you a sample of some past columns.


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Unsure- February 27th, 2010
February 28, 2010

Dear Sam,

   How can you tell if you should drop a friend who you feel is going in the wrong direction? I want to help this person, but I obviously can’t control him, and it seems like I’m hitting my head against a brick wall. Are Christians supposed to hang in forever, no matter what?


Dear Unsure,

    I’m glad you are thinking and not just letting your feelings drag you around.
    Because Christians want to be good, they sometimes don’t act reasonably. They feel guilty if they set standards. Your standard, of course, has to be for yourself, and in that way you avoid controlling others. So I hear you asking where the line gets drawn, in fact, is there a line at all? Yes, there is. Jesus did not compromise himself in order to be liked by everyone, and in one case he let the rich young man go his own way because he refused to change his way of life. The story of the Prodigal Son shows a father who releases his son to wander into trouble. He also kept a watch out (prayed) for the return of his son, and welcomed him back with open arms. People will do what they can get away with, and if you let your friend get away with crossing your line, he will. So figure out exactly what your standards are and hold your ground.
     Here’s a way of assessing the situation: do you have equal influence in this relationship?
     Let’s say he always wants you to get together with his family and friends. You are happy to do that. Is he equally happy to turn the tables and interact with your family and friends?
     When he makes a mistake, he expects you to forgive him and let it go. Is he equally ready to forgive you when you are not perfect? He expects you to go to the heavy metal concert with him, and you do. When you expect him to go to church with you, does he?
    This is an excellent “test” of the health of a relationship, whether it’s romantic or social. If you determine that you do not have equal influence in the relationship, you should give serious thought as to what issues to hold firm on, and whether your standards are becoming distorted. 
    Your question tells me that you are faced with a challenge to really step up and make a mature, considered, healthy decision. Are you willing to bring this issue to the table with your friend, discuss this answer, and work out your concerns? If so, then do it. If not, it may be time to find a new friend. I hope you realize that it is God Himself who is challenging you to grow in your Christianity. Step up!

INSIDE THE ISSUE is authored thru Resurrection Lutheran Church, 250 Quarry Rd, Pembroke. Sunday Worship at 10:30am. Look us up at


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